"what you want may not always be the best for you"

Had track and field training today. After sooo long! Initially, it was held at Serangoon Stadium but since it's a public holiday and the stadium was closed, had a change of plans and went to pasir ris park instead. Jogged 2 rounds which seemed to be an equivelant of 800m at track. Bleaghs. I've never and will never like jogging. No idea why though. I prefer running heh heh. Was supposed to do suicide training but suddenly coach changed and we played this dayak game instead. Fuuuuuuh luckilyyyyy!!!! Can't imagine doing suicide again. ZzzZzzzz. Played in the rain and it was awesomeeeeeee. Had a reaaaaally great time today. It's one of the best trainings i've had so far this year. Really. Right now, my legs are all stiff and sore. But in a good way. I can't wait for the next training. I hope we're doing baton. I've decided that i'm going to train really really extra hard for IMG. I hope this year we're going to bring back a lot of golds AMEEN AMEEN AMEEN. i think i'm going to cry if i don't get any medals hahahahahahaha but seriously. I'm really hoping all the pukings, the headaches, and muscle cramps are really going to be worth it. And also, the sacrifices we have made, especially tchr's and coach's is going to be worth it too. No matter how strict and scary they can be, they're still the best track parents ever.

I've been thinking a lot lately. Ok not really. I think a lot most of the time. And i think.. i know what i'm going to do. Haven't fully figured what it is about yet but i just hope it's going to work out. Pray for meeee.

Goodnight!

XOXO

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still alive

it's been a while since i last blogged. i've been feeling shitty since school started and i've lost count the number of times i've cried. and not to mention the headaches. my bodyclock is messed up and i still haven't gotten used to the hectic and busy life. my life now revolves around school, track and field trainings, tuitions, more tuitions, studies and of course, more studies. the only time i'm not going to school or tuition is on sunday. And i have to spend that particular free day of mine for homework and revision. I don't even have time to rest. Really. I'm so preoccupied i don't have time for anything else. Sometimes i feel like quitting but quitting are for losers. And as far as i can remember i'm not one. Chey.
So far.. there are two things that happened during these past weeks. 1) went to temasek poly open house with two other friends of mine. Nothing much happened there.. except i checked my blood pressure. As i predicted, i have high blood pressure. My doctor warned me already and told me to watch the things i consume and not to get stressed too much but well... It's too late for that now. After all the courses i've looked, i still don't know what to do with my life. Sad life i lead. 2) i am selected to participate for track & field IMG! Initially, i was super stoked and excited but now... I don't know what i feel anymore. The fact that the trainings are getting crazier and tougher makes me feel like quitting sometimes. Really. Don't know why i feel so unhealthy lately. And apart from that i have to freaking juggle trainings, tuitions, school, revisions and all that. I'm really tired. I may look cheerful and not tired-looking but that's all just fake. Yes, i pretend looking all that. Feeling shitty in the inside is already bad enough and i don't want to look the same on the outside. It seems like my Emaths teacher is the only one who notice how i look like. All frowny and exhausted. Surprisingly.... Since she doesn't even look at our faces when she teach... Lol. But i can't help it.        
 I'm struggling, you see.

holding on this string of hope

It's only the first day of school and i have never been more pressurised than this. Almost all the teachers who went in the class kept talking about either O levels or Shahadah exam. i really feel like breaking down everytime i think about O levels, really. I don't know if i can pass. I really don't know. I freaking failed Emaths, Pure Geography & Combined Science during exam and chances of me passing those subjects for O levels are...... I really can't even and don't want to think about it. I can only hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I bet i'm going to have loads and loads of headache and tension headache after this. Oh and not to mention all the moodswings that'll come.

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Reasons why i'm not looking forward for tomorrow : waking up early, my flaw face, assembly & my socks. My mom bought adidas ankle socks instead of the adidas socks that i usually wear. I'm dead if there's a spot-check tomorrow.

Reasons why i'm looking forward for tomorrow : study, reading, friends & to get the day over with.

Wish me luck for tomorrow! I'm a day closer to O levels.

XOXO

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Goodbye

I've been through years that are more better than 2011 but nevertheless i'm thankful for all the good and (hopefully) bad things that has happened to me. I'm thankful for the really nice people who acknowledges me in class, for the guy who has stick with me for the longest, for track & field since i can now touch my toes lolol and also since it's the only time i exercise, for the lovely friends who has been with me both ups and downs and not forgetting all the wonderful times we've spent even if it gets lesser and lesser lately and lastly, for getting promoted to secondary 4 Ijtihad. You have no idea how much it means to me. Frankly, i had this negative feeling that i might not make it but... I DID!!!!! All praises be to Allah :)))))

Oh and guess what? This blogger account will turn 3 next year! Awwwh :>

but i've been blogging since p4 though, but can't remember the account, heh.

There's so many things to look forward to next year and i pray that it'll be better than this year. Way way better. Ameen :-)

XOXO